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27 April
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传阅:大伯的革命与爱情

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任何一种语言,大约总有一些词汇会让我们感到沉重。这是祇能神通而难以言喻的某种感觉——这样一些语词仿佛与生俱来地具有特别的质量,一如陨石般破空砸下,让多数被击中的心灵感到一阵颤栗,甚而荡漾起如许莫名的痛楚。比如此际,当我拟出这样一个标题时,我忽然张口结舌手足无措——我在大伯已然成灰的18年之后,依旧如故地感到失语的疼痛,感到我被这样一些词语压迫得艰于呼吸,甚至流不出眼泪。
我似乎看见大伯躺在四块黑铁般的词语之间——一头是命运和革命这两个古典词汇,一头是组织和爱情这两个现代词汇,它们的冰冷凝重更加显出大伯蜷曲一生的微弱。我又恍惚回到20几年前的冬夜,那是在珞珈山下武大的一个简陋平房中,大伯几乎百听不厌地再次在昏昏灯火下按响贝多芬的磁带。他指着咚咚咚冻轰鸣的四个音符对我说——你听,这就是命运之神在敲门。
那时年轻的我,还不谙命运的颜色,以为祇要插紧锁钥就可以阻挡无常的脚步。以后在熟知大伯的往事之后,尤其在身经自己的坎壈之后,我方才明白,冥冥中似乎真有某个神秘的组织或者力量,在暗中编织着个体生命的运数。人在这样的社会中,如同等待植入软件的机器,终有一些莫测的编程员,在随心所欲地决定你的命途去向。你甚至会在一些失梦之夜,隐约听见那些黑暗中的狞笑。
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